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The Obtuse Goose is a news and satire website, it does not use real names and all content is entirely fictional. All news articles contained within The Obtuse Goose are fiction, i.e everything you see on this site is made-up and is not in any way whatsoever to be taken as factual.
Glad we got that cleared up.
The Obtuse Goose is a satirical news website that was birthed after the Huns found a goose atop a mountain holding some commandments. They couldn’t really understand what the commandments said, as they were written by a goose. However, what they realised after they eventually killed and ate the goose, was that this wasn’t a good idea, as this was a special goose… The Goose of Knowledge, in fact.
Ever since Attila the Hun ate the Goose of Knowledge, Attila started taking things way too seriously and consequently did a load of bad things. After Attila’s death, the soul of the Goose of Knowledge fused itself with other really bad people and tried to make them good. Notable people included Genghis Khan, Vlad The Impaler, Adolf Hitler and Katie Hopkins. The Goose of Knowledge failed every single time and almost gave up on trying to make the world a better place.
Until, one day, he found some idiot writer walking his pug in the park. In a last ditch resort, the Goose of Knowledge forced himself upon the weak, fragile mind of the writer and consequently, was able to birth ‘mad shit’ into his mind.
After roughly five years of struggle, pain and copious amounts of red bull and anxiety, the Goose of Knowledge formed a website birthed from wit, satire and vain attempts at global domination.
So, for all the people in the world that feel their insignificant problems and farcical discrepancies hold no merit in a world full of ‘greater’ problems, I’m here to punch you back into the dirt.
Please note that this is a satirical website, I‘m also not actually not a goose, contrary to popular belief.