Islander Questions Friendship After ‘Airport Car Centre’ Lyrics Not Repeated

AFTER REFUSING to repeat the lyrics ‘Airport Car Centre’, a man has started doubting his friend’s worth

Whilst driving down the avenue at the brisk, yet slightly sexual speed of 43mph, a man’s 20-year friendship was thrown into question when one half of the pairing refused to belt out the words ‘Airport Car Centre’ upon hearing the jingle.

Despite the innocence of the crime, it was enough to make the driver of the vehicle, Blake Dempsey, immediately rip the car into one of the avenue lay-bys as elegantly as the Titanic flying into an iceberg. He relayed the conversation that ensued:

“Indicator off, handbrake, up, radio, off, ignition, off, existential crisis and mouldering resentment towards my best friend, on.”

“Twenty years, twenty years I broke bread with this man, the Liquid days, the Mimosa nights, the St Ouen’s Snapchats, and now he decides to inform me that he ‘doesn’t really get’ our island’s best-loved advertisement jingle.”

Dempsey described how this betrayal was more soul-crushing than the time he found out Jersey milk wasn’t sold everywhere in the UK:

“We hadn’t got off to the best of starts, on our way to St Mary, he dropped the bombshell that he’d matched with my ex on Tinder. Granted, we split up in year 9, but the wound is still there, and he seasoned that bitch like that Turkish Salt Bae dude everyone bangs on about.”

The chaos didn’t end there, as Dempsey revealed that this wasn’t the only discrepancy:

“103 famously has some of the best advertisements. For example, I know that ‘Pentagon’s where the building begins‘ so, if I want a shed, or to re-build my relationship with my ex, I know who to fucking call.”

“However, this… monster, who I was led to believe was my friend, ignored the jingle in favour of Tindering the shit out of my ex, while uploading mad Brelade’s pics to Instagram.”

Dempsey revealed that this wasn’t the first time their friendship has been jabbed in the ribs, admitting that his friend thought our beloved gorilla Jambo, was in fact, a type of French ham:

“Who the fuck confuses Jambo with Jambon? Who?! ‘Oh yeah, our beloved Jambon, the piece of ham that rescued a child from the other Jambons when it fell into the Jambon enclosure.'”

“I hate him, and now I’m stuck in traffic on the avenue, because some dumb-ass hasn’t figured out the filter system.”

When trying to salvage the relationship, matters only got worse when his friend inadvertently admitted that he’d never been to Ransoms, and only buys the yellow Jersey milk:

“Seriously, where does the betrayal end? Not even Judas was this much of a bellend.”

Dempsey solemnly admitted that their friendship was now about as existent as the innovation fund:

“He was the St Brelade to my Instagram, the regret to my Mimosa, the Jambo to my Harambe. Now, I’ll have to start looking for a new mate, and they’re difficult to find in Jersey, as they’ve all paired up and got their own handshakes and stuff.”

Just as Dempsey had began to calm down, his friend shunted one last spear through his heart:

“I thought we’d talked everything through, but as I approached the tunnel, his bitch-ass immaturity kicked-in as he tried to close the windows to ‘avoid suffocation.'”

“So, I locked the windows down, and drove as slowly as is humanly possible through the tunnel, waiting until the Airport Car Centre advert came on.”

“Scream them words piggy, scream.”

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