THE JERSEY government have imported a dragon from Westeros to quell the relentless fog
Clint McGoo of the Fuck Off Fog Airport Control unit has begged the government to buy one of those dragons from Westeros.
After the government’s genius attempt at strapping 12 desk fans to the airport runway, it was clear more firepower was needed.
“Desk fans were a fantastic idea, but dragons seem to be the in-thing right now. Dragons and flipping bottles of water.”
With Christ’s birthday coming up, people are desperate to return home to see what he has in store this year. But more importantly, many pilots are excited to see what mad shit the dragon can do.
“I can’t wait to see the dragon in action. Big-up Daenerys for lending us this massive lizard.”
Some pilots like Captain Dempsey are against the dragon however, which has lead to certain members of the crew backing more traditional fog battling approaches.
“Smashing on Skrillex during turbulence and switching the emergency lights on and off to emulate a rave in Devon are bullet-proof ways to tell fog to ‘get to fuck.’ But, to be fair, after I’d nose-dived a few times and done some backwards rolly pollys down the isle, I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the drag.”
“I just saw this massive lizard perching atop a tree in that mini beach-forest in St Brelades. He stared at me for a bit, then nodded, so I nodded back. I expected fire and some shit, but no, it was better. He rose up holding this massive desk fan and the fog was like ‘nah’ and legged it.
“The fuck didn’t I think of that? Genius.”
Jersey looks to be in good hands this Christmas thanks to the dragon, but there are still underlying issues surrounding the fog.
“I think the real culprits here, are the weathermen. They abuse their gifts of foresight and just stand there, pointing at our homes like: ‘you’re fucked, and you’re fucked, he might survive the night, but you are absolutely twatted mate.’