YouTube Strikes Lucrative Deal with UFC

THE DEAL hopes to encourage more YouTubers to beat the shit out of each other

[Image Courtesy of YouTube]

Blake Dempsey reporting:

After KSI and Joe Weller decided to punch each other to resolve their differences to an audience of over 25 million people, it has encouraged other YouTubers to bring their grievances to the ring – or, the Octagon.

Rumours of potential fights are flooding in, including the highly anticipated clash between Logan Paul and a mirror.

YouTube has decided that its days of supporting creative thinkers and makeup vloggers are over. Now is the time for 20-somethings with too much testosterone to pummel each other while an audience of children scream for blood.

We were lucky enough to grab a few minutes with 16-year old Holly Barker after the KSI | Weller fight had finished:

“My mum doesn’t know I’m here, but I’m 12, I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

Holly continued:

“I’m sure back then people used to go to raves and that, but that’s for pussies. All the new gangsters hang out on social media and force their idols to fight each other to prove who is the most dominant. YouTube used to be about expressing creative diversity through a variation of channels, like game commentaries, makeup tutorials and vlogs.”

“Now, it’s all about blood, chaos and fucking carnage.”

We asked Holly what she thought of the fight:

“Personally, I was disappointed. I didn’t expect them to wear headgear and when I heard that there would be no bonus items in play – baseball bats, throwing axes, flamethrowers, orphans – it just sort of killed my vibe.”

Holly was able to take some positives from the bloodbath, however:

“I did leave with a lock of KSI’s hair which I shall sacrifice tonight to appease our only true God, Jake Paul.”

A YouTube spokesman claims that their new partnership with UFC was not bred out of a desire to encourage violence. Instead, it hopes to be seen as ‘character building.’

When asked about the proposed plans, a YouTube spokesman said it was ‘early days but there are talks that the process will adopt a similar structure to The Hunger Games trials.’

Popular YouTubers will be kidnapped from selected areas of Earth and then forced to battle within a designated venue. Sometimes this will be the Octagon, sometimes an aircraft carrier in the south pacific.

Remember, YouTube is about creative diversity.

Talks are ongoing regarding the future of YouTube’s partnership with UFC but it’s safe to say we’re looking at an exciting year.

A popular rumour circulating social media is a potential brawl between Pewdiepie, Hitler and The Wall Street Journal.

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