24 year-old Still Adamant on Closing Car Windows Through Jersey Tunnel

THE TUNNEL quite clearly remains a poisonous cocoon of death

Blake Dempsey was heading to mercilessly snatch game tickets off small children at Tamba Arcade when he realised that all four of his windows were down upon approaching the tunnel.

His reaction merited the typically noble and brave Jerseyman:

“Jesus fucking Christ Daniel, shut the windows before we die of the Chernobyl-esq toxins.”

Shotgun driver, Daniel, who emulates the attitude of a Jersey Seagull literally couldn’t give less of a shit about Blake’s concerns.

“I knew I was fucked when Daniel stared into my eyes and refused to relinquish the window button that was keeping all of the nightmare-juice out of the car.”

“He can be a real twat sometimes, but there aren’t many people in Jersey, and I’ve known him far too long to cut ties with him. So I just get on with it.”

After failing to secure the windows, Blake’s last ditch attempt at survival was to hold is breath for an inhuman amount of time.

“This is where I show people the type of metal I’m made of.”

As Daniel attempted to strike-up conversation regarding his idea to re-open Liquid, Blake’s face rapidly increased in size and colour due to the obvious lack of oxygen. Daniel remained unphased:

“He looked like that fat kid off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the one who ate too much blue shit and rolled away.”

Upon exiting the cocoon of death, Blake claims he came out the bigger man:

“After I’d escaped the nightmare realm, I sneered at Daniel and continued to brag about how I have the lungs of a blue whale.”

Daniel saw things differently:

“He’s 24 years old. He’s more worried about the non-existent tunnel toxins than the fact he’s slugging 2 bottles of Co-op vodka every Saturday so he doesn’t have to spend any more money in Mimosa.

The kid is a prick.”



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